Well I thought I was all cool; had experienced a lot considering my circumstances and then I got a rude awakening. I touched a "hot" model's bare flesh for the first time today. And I couldn't handle it like a normal 20 year old. I don't know how I'm ever going to have sex if I had this much trouble. lol. I was so awkward. (Here follows my rant of thoughts):And I didn't know where to put my arm, didn't smile for the photo (I look like a deer caught in the headlights), he was extremely warm (surprisingly) for not having a shirt on, I hate the way I look in the picture, I feel fat and absolutely terrible about myself now (self-esteem down toilet), I don't think I'll ever wear that shirt again except with shorts (never pants again upon pains of death), I want a boob job now, I'm jealous of how beautiful my mom is, I will never go to the mall during christmas again, I feel shame whenever I think of hollister now, I don't think I like abs or really good looking guys anymore (I figured out why I like skinny guys and nerds so much tonight), and I have a new found respect for sluts (how does anyone have meaningless sex????????!) Baffles me, utterly baffles me.
