A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
The only way to have a friend is to be one.
Everyone's on their period today.
Say my name and every color illuminates.
Avoiding the world right now. Leave a message and I will not get back to you.
Hold my heart, it's beating for you anyway.
If every living thing dies alone, what am I doing here?
At least #oomf probably thinks I'm annoying with all my whining and song lyric tweets.
I just can't seem to get over you, much less forget you.
Stabler not on SVU anymore?!!! #whynotjustrapeme
She'll be fine in record time.
I feel so fat lately. Like I'm holding my unborn child.
I'm not your friend. I never was.
I'm going to see, possibly, the man of my dreams tomorrow and my face is breaking out. WHY ZIT GODS? WHY?!
Sewed streamers like a beast, then cleaned like a beast, then became a beast.
That awful moment when someone you love and respect disappoints you.
The difference between weather reports and severe weather reports is the severity.
I become seizure woman when I want to take clear pictures.
This ho about to garden.
My brother is not a candy person so when I asked if he wanted any and he surprisingly said yes I asked why now? And he said "It's that time of the month."
When your arms are sore from shopping #youredoingitright #oryoureinreallybadshape
#10ThingsIMustDoBeforeIDie Chris Hemsworth
Watching We Bought A Zoo. Just from the title I can tell I'll be able to relate to it on a personal level.
You could be my someone, you could be my scene.
I'm so awkward. Guy waves at me. Stares blankly at trees.
I'm not drowning fast enough.
Drama doesn't follow me, it rides on my back.
I miss a person I don't even have in my life. They don't exist.
What does it imply when an old man stares at you the entire time you're in the dr's waiting room? Does he want the D?
I gotta carry my phone with me 24/7 just in case nobody texts me.
The lips that once told me they loved me are now matching someone else's lips.
Please alleviate me aleve.
Still have not had a pumpkin spice latte this month. Basically I'm abused.
Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
She is going to town on that thing... like from a bunch of different routes.
But... what does Lil Wayne listen to when he works out?
Mom says I look like a prostitute today. Thanks mom, that's what I was going for #winning
Plot twist: We all have a good time.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again? - me walking by the same aisle three times.
Dishonor on your whole family. Dishonor on your cow.
And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
The reply, "shut up whore", pretty much applies to every post on facebook.
#SingleBecause Chuck Norris gave me unrealistic expectations of men.
So many good things to watch on tv tonight... Asian collectibles with David, Professional hair removal at
home, Epiphany of the Lord.
As strange as it seems I'd rather dissolve than have you ignore me.
That awkward moment when you screw up a word's spelling so bad that even auto-correct is like "I got nothing, man."
And you move like water, I could drown in you.
Possibly the hottest thing ever: Guy in a skinny suit on a sports bike.
Don't be hot around me that's really insensitive.
I lost my mood ring. Not sure how I feel about this.
When you play the game of thrones, remember to have fun and be yourself.
The problem with waking up early is that I'm awake and you suck.
Crying while caressing and looking longingly at the calendar cause I'm dramatic like that #kdramas
If I was going to get executed, sushi would be my last meal.
Seduce me with film references.
Awkward side hugs all around.
Who cares if it's pronounced gif or jif. All that matters is that you use gif when you're around me or things will get painful.
The only way to have a friend is to be one.
Everyone's on their period today.
Say my name and every color illuminates.
Avoiding the world right now. Leave a message and I will not get back to you.
Hold my heart, it's beating for you anyway.
If every living thing dies alone, what am I doing here?
At least #oomf probably thinks I'm annoying with all my whining and song lyric tweets.
I just can't seem to get over you, much less forget you.
Stabler not on SVU anymore?!!! #whynotjustrapeme
She'll be fine in record time.
I feel so fat lately. Like I'm holding my unborn child.
I'm not your friend. I never was.
I'm going to see, possibly, the man of my dreams tomorrow and my face is breaking out. WHY ZIT GODS? WHY?!
Sewed streamers like a beast, then cleaned like a beast, then became a beast.
That awful moment when someone you love and respect disappoints you.
The difference between weather reports and severe weather reports is the severity.
I become seizure woman when I want to take clear pictures.
This ho about to garden.
My brother is not a candy person so when I asked if he wanted any and he surprisingly said yes I asked why now? And he said "It's that time of the month."
When your arms are sore from shopping #youredoingitright #oryoureinreallybadshape
#10ThingsIMustDoBeforeIDie Chris Hemsworth
Watching We Bought A Zoo. Just from the title I can tell I'll be able to relate to it on a personal level.
You could be my someone, you could be my scene.
I'm so awkward. Guy waves at me. Stares blankly at trees.
I'm not drowning fast enough.
Drama doesn't follow me, it rides on my back.
I miss a person I don't even have in my life. They don't exist.
What does it imply when an old man stares at you the entire time you're in the dr's waiting room? Does he want the D?
I gotta carry my phone with me 24/7 just in case nobody texts me.
The lips that once told me they loved me are now matching someone else's lips.
Please alleviate me aleve.
Still have not had a pumpkin spice latte this month. Basically I'm abused.
Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
She is going to town on that thing... like from a bunch of different routes.
But... what does Lil Wayne listen to when he works out?
Mom says I look like a prostitute today. Thanks mom, that's what I was going for #winning
Plot twist: We all have a good time.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again? - me walking by the same aisle three times.
Dishonor on your whole family. Dishonor on your cow.
And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
The reply, "shut up whore", pretty much applies to every post on facebook.
#SingleBecause Chuck Norris gave me unrealistic expectations of men.
So many good things to watch on tv tonight... Asian collectibles with David, Professional hair removal at
home, Epiphany of the Lord.
As strange as it seems I'd rather dissolve than have you ignore me.
That awkward moment when you screw up a word's spelling so bad that even auto-correct is like "I got nothing, man."
And you move like water, I could drown in you.
Possibly the hottest thing ever: Guy in a skinny suit on a sports bike.
Don't be hot around me that's really insensitive.
I lost my mood ring. Not sure how I feel about this.
When you play the game of thrones, remember to have fun and be yourself.
The problem with waking up early is that I'm awake and you suck.
Crying while caressing and looking longingly at the calendar cause I'm dramatic like that #kdramas
If I was going to get executed, sushi would be my last meal.
Seduce me with film references.
Awkward side hugs all around.
Who cares if it's pronounced gif or jif. All that matters is that you use gif when you're around me or things will get painful.
