That I feel comforted when he's online? Even though we don't talk, I feel better seeing his name on the people who are online and when I don't see his name anymore, I get sad. This kdrama I'm watching now is really good: Creating Destiny. It's like my eyes are faucets though and this show is turning them on. These last few episodes that I watched tonight, I kept crying. & I cried my eyes out the night before the Saints game. I have no idea what is wrong with me, of course I know the reason why I was crying so it wasn't like I was just crying out of nowhere, but it's kind of weird. Why now? Why am I sad about him right now? Why not last week? Or the week before? I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow at 10:30 so I have to get up at 9:30 to get ready. I think we're going grocery shopping tomorrow too since mom didn't feel good enough to today. She's coming down with something. Kind of like the cold I had not too long ago when I stayed up too late that one night watching the kdrama Full House. How do I manage to get sick with a cold twice in the middle of summer?
There's so many things I want to do on Facebook, but I'm always constantly worried about people judging me. Especially family and my mom. I mean like I just took this one picture of myself because I'm sick of all my other pictures and I kind of tried to stick my booty out a little so I didn't look fat... and I can't decide if you can tell I'm doing this or not in the picture and I don't want to hear about how I look slutty from my mom later haha... ._. And then I want to write a status with lyrics... "I've been waiting for this moment all my life, but it's not quite right." The problem is when you write stuff or post stuff there's a chance that people will comment on it right? And that's the whole point... otherwise why post it? So why am I struggling within myself? I guess because I want people to see it, know people saw it, but not have anyone comment on it. Yeah, I'm retarded.
